Caution Sharp Turns Ahead!

Growing up we all had ideas of what our life would be like as a "grown-up". I don't know about you, but I could close my eyes and picture what was on the road ahead. There was only one problem- I forgot to factor in "life". All the junk that messes up the path we're on. The junk is different for everyone - bills, careers, relationships, drugs, alcohol, families, friends, you name it. For some people it might be obvious - my life changed when ______. For others, it might not be so cut and dry. They just wake up one day and think "How did I get here?"  Whatever the case may be, the fact remains, life is really good at throwing you curves.

I know for me, 2010 has been full of them. I'm not saying that they're bad necessarily - just different. The path I'm on has just taken a hard left spitting me out in a direction I never imagined. I find myself being faced with decisions I never dreamed I would be making. Decisions that will drastically change the road I'm on. That's not to say it's not the road that God intended for me, its just not what I had in mind. Do I stay on my path or do I head off into uncharted territory and trust that this is all part of God's plan? I've decided to go for it and see what happens. The new road is scary, exciting, and heartbreaking, but it's what is best. So thank you in advance for your prayers and support on our new adventures. We're gonna need it!

Sound familiar?

How is it Christmas already again? I've barely recovered from last year. It's good though, because there are lots of things that I want but don't want to buy for myself. Let's see...I should get something from that person... that person....she usually gets me something....oh, and so to they. He usually gets me something stupid that I'll never use, I hope that's not the case this year. I guess that sums up who I have to by gifts for too. I don't really want to get something for that person, but they're family, so even though we never talk and I barley know them, I still have to, right? Gifts are mandatory for family aren't they? It might be good to have a back up gift too, something generic that I can give to someone if they get me something unexpectedly. I don't want to look like a jerk afterall. The whole thing is such a pain, dealing with crowded stores and grumpy people and the expense. Why is everything so dang expensive now?  Is there anyone who actually likes Christmas shopping? Then I have to go grocery shopping, which is even worse than shopping for gifts. But I have to make breads, and a million types of cookies, and I think we're having Christmas at my house this year...which means I have to figure out a whole meal and how everyone's going to fit. I've got my decorations up already. I like that part of Christmas. Well, I like them once their up anyway. Digging out all the boxes- a pain. Putting away all the regular stuff to make room for the decorations-pain. Putting Christmas lights up outside in the freezing cold- pain...no wait, HUGE pain.

Does any of that sound familiar to you? Is that how people really feel about Christmas? Most likely the answer is no, but that doesn't mean that at some point in the season some of those thoughts don't go through our heads. It's not that we hate Christmas, but that we get distracted by all the "junk". We forget about why we even celebrate Christmas (except when we're sitting in church on Christmas Eve for the first time since Easter). Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, about celebrating an act of love. We celebrate because God didn't have to come to earth, but because He wanted to. He wanted us to know that He loves us.

So this Christmas season, try to remember that. The Christmas season is an opportunity for you to show those that you care about that you love them, regardless of your religious beliefs. Forget all the have-to's and focus on the want-to's, or better- turn the have-to's into want-to's.  Start giving gifts because you want to, not out of an obligation. (And if you are the recipient of a gift, remember that too. They didn't have to give you one.) Make different kinds of cookies, because you know that so-and-so likes this thumbprints, but someone else likes sugar cookies, and you want them you know you care, not just to keep them from complaining. Whether its gifts you give, cookies you make, parties you go to, or decorations you hang - your attitude through it all will come through. If you start to think of everything as another way to show love instead of another chore, maybe this Christmas won't be so frustrating.You just might be surprised. Maybe some of the magic that Christmas held when you were a child will return. Maybe you can stop dreading Christmas and start looking forward to it with excitement like you used to. There's only one way to find out.

Black Friday Reflections

With all the craziness of Black Friday and Cyber Monday it's safe to say that we are in the full swing of holiday giving. For the first time ever, I joined the chaos and headed to Target at 5:00am. Being a Black Friday amateur, I had no plan or lists to go by. I simply wandered around the store, which I know now is a bad idea. Don't get me wrong, I got some good deals, but the majority of the stuff I bought ended up being for us instead of for others. I started to feel like a jerk. Who starts off their holiday shopping by buying stuff for themselves? The more I thought about it though I realized that a lot of people probably do. If you look at the things that are on sale - TVs, pots and pans, vacuums, washers and  dryers, etc - those aren't really gifts, but necessities (at least in American standard) and so naturally you want to get a good deal on them  - whether its a Black Friday sale, Memorial Day sale or any day in between. So, maybe I'm not such a jerk after all. Next year though, I just might try again, only this time with plan to divide and conquer.

Happiness Defined

On his blog, a friend of mine recently posed the question "What is happiness to you?" and asked people to leave comments with their answers. What was initially going to be just a quick answer turned into to something a bit longer, so I thought I would expand on it a bit further and post it here. (That way I can check "blogging" off my list for the week)


To me, happiness is...
...laughing with friends
...being loved
...crawling into bed at night after a busy day
...seeing the sun rise on the snow covered Rocky Mountains
...a bowl of ice cream 
...a good cup of coffee
...flocks of Canadian geese that take over the city in the winter (I'm weird I know, but they make me happy)
...little kids that say random things (A couple instances that still make me smile months later- A 5ish year old boy at the bike track referring to his grandparents as G-Ma and G-Pa and a 3ish year old boy at the Body Works exhibit after discovering the body in the exhibit had a belly button exclaimed "I have a belly button too! Look!" then proceeded to lift up his shirt to show his grandma)

I could go on and on, but I'll stop there, at least with things that make me happy. I'm the "glass is half full" kind of a person, so there are lots of things the make me happy. In general though, I think happiness is a decision. You can choose to be happy because of your circumstances or in spite of them. I think in general we tend to focus on what we DON'T have, things that other people have that we want and that we often see has the key to being happy- "Once I have that job/relationship/house/car/etc then I'll be happy." Thinking that way will always leave you wanting more. 

Every coin has two sides though- so the key to happiness, or at least my happiness, is focusing on what I DO have- health, family, friends, a warm place to sleep at night, food to eat, clean water to drink, etc. 

Its up to us to decide what we want to focus on in our lives and the attitude we approach things with. If we let the bad stuff ruin our day, depend on the really, really good stuff to make us happy, or be happy in the small things - its all up to you. My secret to being happy is by getting it in small doses instead of waiting for the big things to happen. 
What's your secret? 

I am a warrior!

Last time I checked in, I was all fired up to do a triathlon. My training varried- some days filling me with confidence that I could accomplish the task I set out for myself. Other days I had more of a "what the heck did I get myself into" attitude. I finally decided that I would do the swimming and biking portions this year and have a friend run for me. That was definately something I could manage, even on the days I doubted myself. Then I found out that the triathlon had been sold out. On some levels I was relieved- I didn't have to worry about failure, but on another I was disappointed. Would I ever find out if  I could master the triathlon? Next year - its on.

In the mean time, I was given another challenge- the Warrior Dash.  A little over3 miles of running up a mountain, and crazy obstacles which included climbing over junkyard cars, over bales of hay, crawling through a mud pit with barbed wire overhead, cargo nets, tunnels, and fire. Looking at the pictures on the website I thought it was insane- and people that i told about it though that's exactly what I was- me and the two other friends that were becoming warriors with me. With just over three weeks to train I hit the gym pretty hard - working out morning and night when possible and running up hills outside. I even stopped at a playground one night to climb around, but then thought I might fall and break my neck, so I stopped and came home.

The day of the race we were up ridiculously early, with my "coach" aka Hubby by my side to make sure I was hydrated - water, naked juice, and a supplemental energy drink...all before 10:00am. Needless to say I made several trips to the restroom while we waited for our turn.

Then with costumes on and faces painted, we joined the other 200+ people at the starting line and we were off and running. Before the race, the three of us agreed that we would stick together - if one person needed to walk, we all walked and at 9,700 feet there was a lot of walking. Some of the obstacles were harder than others, but none of it was impossible. We finished the race covered in mud, but with a feeling of accomplishment. We took on the mountain....challenged ourselves....and succeeded. We immediately began planning for next year - and next year the boys will join us too. My goal for next year is to have a better costume and a better finish. It was good first attempt, but I know I've got more a gas in the tank.

I may not be able to say I'm a triathlete yet, but I can say, with conviction, I AM A WARRIOR!

Start crossing 'em off

Everyone has a bucket list, whether that's what they call it or not. There are things that everyone would like to accomplish/experience at some point in their life, and I am no exception. I even have some things on my list that I don't actually want to DO, but simply SAY that I've done them- running a marathon and climbing everest to name a couple. I'd do them, but I don't want to put in the time and money necessary to do them successfully and safely. Other things on my list are doable, but I've thought that I had to be more _________ (in shape, weigh less, have more moeny, etc.) before I can do even think about doing it. One of those things is run a triathlon, at least a small one- not the intense Iron Man ones that include running a marathon at the end. I'd like to do one, but I'm not in shape. I need to lose weight. Then one day I decided that my thinking was all wrong. If I want to do a triathlon, I just need to do a triathlon. Pick a date and start training. As long as the time frame is realistic and I'm committed to eating right and following a training schedule, what am I waiting for? So- I'm going to do a triathlon. It's called the Xterra and its on August 29. I decided that I needed to have one that wasn't too far off, like next summer, because then I wouldn't take it seriously now. I think my goal is doable. I don't care about winning, I just want to finish. 1/2 mile swimming, 12 miles biking, and 4.8 miles running. I CAN DO IT! 

Is there something you want to do but have been putting off until you are/have more of something? Stop waiting and just start doing it. 

Believe It.

Deserve It.

Expect It.

Prove It.

It's never too late

I started off the year pretty gung-ho about things- making changes in my life for the better. So how have I done so far? The phrase "Epic Fail" comes to mind. I weigh the same as I did in January. My bank account is just as empty. I'm no farther in my spiritual walk- unless you count my new Bible (that's I've read once) and the 20 or so church services I have attended. I guess it just goes to show that intentions aren't enough.

There are plenty of things that I haven't done, but here's some of the things that I have managed to do at least within the last few weeks. I've started drinking water almost all the time. An occasional soda will find its way in, but for the most part it's good ol' fashioned H2O. Well, that and coffee, but coffee doesn't count as a drink- its a necessity. I've also started getting up early (4:45) and going to the gym before work, something that still surprises me since I'm a fan of my bed. What's even more surprising is that I'm evening enjoying it.

 A few weeks ago I started getting mad at myself for things I've been doing in my life, or not doing in my case. I have this vision of whoI'd like to be but really didn't want to give up anything to achieve that - not my sleep, and certainly not my Moosetracks ice cream. In this situation I'm talking about physical appearances, but its carried over into other parts of my life as well- relational, spiritual, financial, etc. But back to the issue of working out. I know myself well enough to know that I have a bit of a competitive streak, and I think that applies to working out too. If left to my own devices I will not go work out on my own, or if I do, I won't work out as hard. If you're alone it's too easy to give up and I usually do.

I found the perfect solution, especially if you factor in my dislike for spending money- join a gym that offers classes that's close to home. If I'm in a room full of people there's no way I'm quitting no matter how hard it gets. If they can do it, then so can I. Period. Luckily I found a gym that's about a mile away that has daily classes starting at 5am. So there I am- almost every morning in a silent competition with a room full of people. And it works. The fact that I'm paying to be there also helps motivate me to get out of bed and go. It's a win-win situation. What's even more surprising is that even though I'm getting up an extra hour earlier I have more energy than on the days I stay in bed.

Who knew that making a little sacrifice can be so beneficial? If you break it down it's kind of like this. CONS: waking up an hour earlier, sore muscles some days
PROS: more energy, better body, healthier heart, living longer, higher self-esteem

I say a little sacrifice is definitely worth it. The key is to knowing yourself- what motivates you and what holds you back- and find a way to tap into those no matter what your goal is and it makes moving toward that goal much easier.

April 11th

If you google "What happened on April 11th in history" nothing really significant will come up. On April 11, 1947 Jackie Robinson played an exibition game with the Brooklyn Dodgers and became the first black baseball player. On April 11, 1961 Bob Dylan began his professional music career with a performace in Greenwich Village. On April 11, 1970 Apollo 13 was launched. On April 11, 1983 "Ghandi" beat "E.T." and "Tootsie" and won the Oscar for Best Picture. The list goes one, but there's one thing missing from the list. On April 11, 1990 my dad passed away.

It's hard to believe that it's been twenty years since he's been gone. They say that time heals all things, and to an extent it does, but time can never make it go away completely. There are still times I think about him. I hear friends talk about their dads and can't help but wonder what my relationship with my dad would've been. I often wonder what my husband's relationship with him would've been. There's so many "what ifs" but unfortunately there's no way to turn back the clock. The only thing I can do is make the most of the situation.
I know that our experiences are a large factor in shaping who we are, and I know that this is no different. I'm proud of the woman I've become, and I know my dad would be too. I know that I'll see him again one day and that he's watching me every day from Heaven.

Daddy, I love you and I miss you!

It's Official....

Well, it's official. I am a terrible blogger. So much for my big ideas.....

Whoever said ignorance is bliss is a liar

So far 2010 has been pretty challenging, but through it all I've come to realize that ignorance is not bliss- it's scary. As humans, I think we tend to imagine the worst when faced with something we know very little about simply because we don't know any better. Then we base our reactions on our assumptions, which only makes things worse. It's part of that "fear of the unknown" thing. So what's the answer? Get educated.

It doesn't matter what the issue is - finances, drugs, health, laws, war,  you name it - there is a way to make the scariness go away. You will always be able to find someone who knows more on the subject than you, especially with the technology today. Fifty years ago things like Google and Wikipedia didn't exist so learning about something took a bit more effort, but today you can find answers in fifteen minutes. Now I'm not saying that Google can solve all your problems, and certainly not in fifteen minutes, but I am saying that it can ease some of your fears. Knowing (not imagining) what to expect and being able to develop a plan of attack puts you in control. You end up merely taking a detour instead of being completely off the road - in the forest at night without a map.

Maybe the saying should be changed to "Denial is bliss." If you pretend that something isn't happening then maybe you can go on living a happy life. At least until the problem becomes so big that you are forced to face it. One way or another, eventually you will have to face it. You can't run away from your problems forever. Life just doesn't work that way.

The fact of the matter is that life is going to give you challenges. You need to decide what you are going to do in response- ignore it, fear it, or take control of it. Personally, I'm tired of living in fear. Its time to take control so that I can live a life of bliss - genuine, educated bliss.

The Real Tragedy

On Tuesday, January 13, a 7.0 earthquake hit Haiti, practically flattening it's capitol, Port Au Prince. Although they have yet to confirm the number dead, I've heard anywhere from 100,000 to 500,000 people lost their lives, not to mention the countless others that are still missing or injured. As America (and the world) tends to do in response to disasters, almost immediately medical supplies, food, temporary shelters and water were on planes headed to Haiti. Many other people began donating money, which in this age of technology has become incredibly simple - a few mouse clicks or a text message and you're done. For most of the Wednesday I watched my boss, almost in a state of panic, try to figure out what we could do, what HE could do, to help the Haitians immediately. The reality of it is, there wasn't much that he could do- and it seemed to be tearing him up.

As I sat at my desk and watched his normally happy, talkative demeanor change to one of sadness and defeat I began to look at my own attitude toward the situation. Yes, it is a tragedy. Yes, I feel bad for them. Yes, I'd like to help them. Yes, I will pray for them. I think all that - then go back to my regular routine- finishing my work, worrying about my financial problems, what to have for dinner, etc. At first I chalked that up to being somewhat a spoiled, self-centered American. Part of me wished I was more passionate about this Haitian tragedy, but another part of me was just fine with how I felt, and even thought that others may be going a little overboard in their reactions.

Then it dawned on me. The real reason I felt somewhat apathetic about the earthquake is that there is so much terrible things happening to people around the world on a daily basis. Why does it take a terrible tragedy for people to start to care? It's great that people are pouring out their support now, but where were they on Monday - before the earthquake, when most of the country was living on less than $1 a day? People didn't seem to care then. And what about the 25,000 children that die around the world each day from diseases that are completely preventable? How come we are not putting forth as much effort to help solve that problem? Maybe if we focus on THAT problem - helping other countries develop better infrastructure so they have water purification systems, stronger buildings, sustainable food systems, then maybe when natural disasters strike the devastation won't be as great. This earthquake could not have been prevented, and those who died could not have been saved. Deaths from a lack of clean drinking water, a steady supply of food, or basic medical supplies - those are things that CAN be prevented and yet we let millions of people die each year from them. Where is outcry then? I'm just as guilty as the next person. In the back of my mind I know the problem exists, but I don't do anything about it. I don't do anything to help. I still continue to live my life of relative luxury. God forbid I go without a cell phone, mp3 player, and DVR. So I guess it's relly myself I'm frustrated with.

I don't know what the answer is. I'm not saying don't help people in a time of tragedy. But maybe we just need to be more aware are the tragedies that are affecting people around the world on a daily basis. Not just in the aftermath of an earthquake, hurricane, tsunami or other unpreventable disaster.

New year, new mindset

A new year always bring new resolutions, an opportunity for a fresh start. An opportunity that for whatever reason, just isn't there on March 22, July 17, or any other day of the year. As I begun thinking about areas in my life that could use some change, things I'd like to accomplish, etc. Like most Americans, I came up with these 1) Eat better, exercise more, weigh less 2) Spend less, save more, get out of debt. Now, all of that can be broken down further, but basically it comes down to one simple goal:

I want to be healthier and happier in 2010

However, the terrible things about resolutions is that most people just set themselves up for failure. I'd be interested to know the stats on how many people actually accomplish the goals they set for themselves. I, for one, am horrible. In fact, here is it January 2 and I have already broken my "stop drinking soda" idea that I had - twice. I've decided that resolutions aren't quite for me.  Yes, I do want to be healthier, wealthier, and happier than I was in 2009 but I think I want to go further than that.

I am getting ever closer to the big 3-0 (2 years, 5 months and 5 days to be exact, not that I'm counting). I'm going to start focusing on that - and what I want my life to be like when I enter the next decade in my life. To be honest, my 20s haven't been all that great. Sure, there are highlights, but I've spent the majority of the last few years paying for decisions that I made earlier - cars that shouldn't have been purchased, money that shouldn't have been spent, the classic "If only I knew then, what I know now" kind of thing. 

So, this is my public declaration of the goals for my life:

Before I turn 30, I want my bank account larger

and my ass smaller.

I hope that by setting up this blog it will give me the motivation that I need so that I can continue to come back here and proudly report that I'm right on track. I invite you to join me on this journey and share the goals you are trying to accomplish.